The Lost Writer

I just finished reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. For a man who has made a helluva lot of coin from creating novels, his writing really frustrates me. I have however, read all five of his books.

On the one hand, this man fills his pages with copious amounts of information - the hard-earned result of much intense research. This is the reason why I continue to buy his hardcovers, knowingly funding his high-flying lifestyle and tweed-filled wardrobe.

On the other hand however, he's not a very good writer. Now, before you say, "Hey hypocrite! Where's your New York Times Best Seller??", I fully acknowledge this man's ability to create a story - he has a great imagination, incredible research skills and a drive to unearth stories that the general public should take the time to read.

The thing is though, parts like this are all too frequent: "He was sweating now beneath his blindfold. He wanted only to take it off. They stopped walking now."

They stopped walking now???

Maybe "They had stopped walking now" or "Suddenly, they stopped walking" but definitely not "They stopped walking now" - it just sounds ridiculous: Like as though Mr Brown had his tenses all mixed up and his editor was simply exhausted by page 479.

Thematically, the book is very, very similar to the rest of Brown's work. And I'm fairly sure he read The Secret as part of his research. Unmasking the ways of that not-so-secret-society - The Masons - The Lost Symbol's most interesting character is - in true Brown style - the leading lady, Katherine Solomon. And unlike Professor Langdon's previous off-siders, Katherine is described as over 50. Odds are she gets a good 15 years chopped off her for the cinematic adaptation.

James Chartrand the she-man.

The blogging world was somewhat rocked this week by the self-outing of one of its top contributors. James Chartrand - a copywriter and regular Copyblogger contributor - is actually a woman. She decided to take a man's name as her pen name after failing to succeed in the industry under her own name.

This really surprised me. No, not surprised. More like disappointed. Of course sexual discrimination still exists in the workplace - I've been on the receiving end of it plenty of times - but I found it particularly painful to read that this woman is still doing the same work as she was pre-James, except that it's now on a much higher level, simply because people thought she was a man.

It's disgraceful that these attitudes still exist in the world. Really disgraceful.

Cool stuff that's been lingering in my inbox

* The Photodiarist - Aaaamazing for black & white photographs of NY.

* F*ck Yeah, Tattoos! - Still thinking about the inking.

* Learn Something New Every Day - Too cute.

* A Day at the Office - Youtube hilarity: You know you love it.

* Oprah's Leaving :'( - Must get to Chicago before she finishes up!

*Azerbaijan Bloggers Jailed - We live in the lucky country and I am so very, very grateful for that. 

* Runaway Bus - Oh. My. God.

* Pay Problem Parents not to Breed - One of those situations where you can think it, but you just shouldn't say it.

iMistake 2.009

If you've been off the airwaves for the past week, you might have missed the most ridiculous scandal since the Chk Chk bogan.

Yes, iSnack2.0, the crappest brand name in the history of the world was officially applied to the watered down version of our national "salty beer paste" (as an American friend once described it!) at the AFL grand final.

But due to the backlash by pretty much everyone that's ever heard of Vegemite, Kraft were quick to withdraw their decision.

 (Hehehehe. Screen shot from The Punch)

But, as Marcus points out in his article, maybe Kraft like it better this way. Maybe choosing some arsey name was the idea all along, just for a little extra publicity. It's certainly worked though. We're now all dissing iSnack 2.0, but, has anyone got a better suggestion? The naming competition has now been relaunched, and I have no doubt the number of entries will increase significantly. 

Hitler was pretty angry though...



Hahahahahahaha

Spring Wrap

* Is this the greatest lingerie ever? How can you say no to glow?

* Perfect autumn getaway for next year. Those luxury boutique spa suites look divine!

* This blazer... Go Portmans for finally getting fun!

* Tavi, a 13-year-old fashion blogger, is taking the world by storm. Describing herself as a "dork that sits inside all day wearing awkward jackets and pretty hats", Tavi is certainly making friends fast with the right people - she sat catwalk-side at New York Fashion Week. Jealous? Who me? Maybe a little. 

* Yvan Rodic, the man behind the very awesome Face Hunter, has started another photo blog about his adventures. It still has fashiony bits, but it allows for photos of the sky, ice creams and graffiti.  

* The New Media Workout Plan by Patrick Moberg. Fairly hilarious!

Body Beautiful

Did you know that, in the fashion industry, if you are bigger than a US size 6 (so an Aussie size 10) you are considered to be "plus-size"? Even being a US size 6 can see you left out of designer gear. 

Since I blogged about British Vogue's Alexandra Shulman way back in June, the UK has been awash with real-woman hype.

Glamour magazine published this picture of 20-year-old model Lizzie Miller in its September 09 issue and were flooded with encouraging responses from excited readers.

  (Image from The Age)

Since this, Glamour have committed to showing more diversity across their pages. Four plus-size models, and the magazine's editor in chief Cindy Leive spoke to Ellen a few days ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2I8dSHURSk

It's not all been roses though. Obviously many fashion alumni don't appreciate their domain being overrun by women who are built bigger than an Olsen. But as the screen grab above from Ellen shows, these models aren't exactly flying the flag for obesity with their Aussie size 12-14 frames. The fashion industry has always supported rail-thin models, and this has provided a great opportunity for the love of fashion and beauty to be shared across all healthy women.

Designer Mark Fast followed suit at London Fashion Week during September by throwing a few size 12-14 girls in his model mix, which certainly ruffled a few feathers. After watching The September Issue though, I'm pretty sure we won't see Anna the Great doing such a ghastly thing in US Vogue. The horror!

It's not about being skinny, it's not about being huge. It's about healthy bodies - not just healthy body image, but healthy, strong, fit bodies. It's about sharing the opportunity to love fashion and clothes and beauty with more than just a tiny tiny percentage of people.

 

Today Tonight, Black-Eye Tomorrow

It's not like you should actually need a specific reason to not want to work for Today Tonight, but if ever you did, this could be it.



This is Brisbane-based TV reporter Damien Hansen after he was assaulted by a family that have been accused of squatting for the last six months in a multi-million-dollar mansion.

Surely it was only as matter of time until someone from the foot-in-the-door "investigative journalism" (yes purists, I'm using the term lightly) programs of today copped a beating. Not that anyone deserves it, but on a television show focused almost entirely on exposing scumbags, surely no one is overly surprised.

But if you're going to be assaulted, surely there's no better time than when you've BYO'd camera crew. Hopefully the psycho squatters can be brought to justice, with Gold Coast police superintendent Jim Keogh stating "detectives are examining footage of the incident filmed by Today Tonight and hope to speak to the alleged offender very soon".

CSI Granny Saves the Day!

So apparently someone else likes crime shows as much as I do... And she's an 89-year-old granny!

And not only does the Leeds-residing old-timer dig the show, she studies it - and helped catch her own rapist with her skills.

When a 31-year-old, 127kg bouncer (Mauro Lopes) entered her home posing as a policeman, our hero had the presence of mind to dig in her claws when things turned ugly.

"I have been watching CSI so I scratched his face so you could get DNA from my fingernails," she told the court.

And because evil Mauro was sprung drink-driving in 2005, police had his details on file and he's since been jailed for nine years.

How good is that! Go Granny!

And the winner is...

So apparently the couple that picked up a cool $53 million in this week's mega lotto jackpot decided to just go back to work.

I totally agree with Paul Colgan:

"I'd like to think I would be yacht shopping this morning, wearing a cravat, and being followed around by someone I'd hired specifically to top up my champagne flute."

At least for a few weeks I'd like to go somewhere awesome... Like maybe here:

"Ugly" thumbs Fox

With more hottest-chick gongs than there are Victorians with swine flu, (ha! sorry, had to get a flu gag in there somewhere!) it turns out Megan Fox isn't quite all that.

Even though she steams up the big screen as the mega-babe in Transformers, according to the UK's Daily Mail, she has ugly thumbs.




































The article reports that it's a genetic "condition" and that "Megan's thumbs almost look more like toes - although they haven't held her back in her career"

What the hell?

Of course it hasn't held back her career! How often will the dudes that watch her movies be looking at her thumbs???

Bloody ridiculous!

Rein, Rein; You're here to stay

I don't understand the kerfuffle surrounding Mrs K-Rudd.

In case you missed it, Kev's wife Therese Rein, a squillionaire in her own right, was snapped by a women's mag doing squats with her trainer in the local gym.

Obviously we're getting into the ins and outs of privacy laws here but, when the once-plump first lady of a country largely populated by over-fed and under-exercised individuals loses 25kgs, it's a secret that I don't think should be kept behind closed doors.

Kev wasn't impressed with the photographs stating "I think most women in Australia would feel that they should have some privacy when they go to the gym... if Woman's Day want to take photos through the window it's a matter for them I suppose. Others will form their judgments of that."

It's a bit of a tough one for everyone concerned - as soon as a mag puts diet and exercise tips on the cover, it's bound to be a successful issue, and really, as the wife of the man with the top job, Therese should not be immune to the tabloids.

I've met Therese. We were both buying not-so-authentic handbags in a massive market in China last year. She's all business and had clammy hands but she was happy to chat to a few exciteable Aussie kids for a few minutes.

And although Kev said she's been in training to climb Mt Kilimanjaro with their son, Nicholas, I'd be in training too if I had to hang out with Mrs O and Ms Bruni!

Ruby's Opposition

I came across this set of images on high fashion website Haute Macabre when I was searching photos of Catherine McNeil's ex-love Freja Beha Erichsen. Sure, she works a leather cut-out corset better than most but, given the chance, I'm sure Ruby would too.

Maybe it's time for a walk-off - Zoolander style!

Bogan Power

Is it killing anyone else that this girl has secured a television contract and may grace our screens nightly?

Or is it just me?


























The "Chk Chk Boom Girl", otherwise known as "Clare the Bogan" has been snapped up by Channel Nine with talks of a permanent spot on that incredibly high quality (cough) news (?) program, A Current Affair.

She's got an agent and has allegedly turned down thousands offered by a men's mag to drop her daks for a photo shoot.

And for some reason, the great unwashed are holding her up as some kind of entertaining joker: a mischievous prankster simply looking to get her mug on the telly.

I'm not sure where I stand on Duncan Riley's conspiracy theory argument but I sure do think something has gone awry. Given Tracey Grimshaw's stone-faced hardline stance in THAT Matthew Johns interview, why has she (assuming she has a say on what happens on her show) now befriended an attention-seeking brat?

Her saga certainly has divided many though. Need a definitive answer on someone's level of bogan? Ask them their opinion on Clare. The comments on the YouTube clip of her interview with ACA are priceless:

Mongo9599 - "She's fantastic having fun. The ugly people are jealous! The unhappy people want her to be miserable like them. She is too bright and will out shine them all."

A little theatrical I think Mongo.

sccudspo - "This sort of shit makes me lose faith in humanity."

And 12myer hits the nail on the head with - "A smart liar supported by our wonderful doofess brains media"

Australians all let us rejoice, for Clare is young and free... to be a dickhead.

Super Scandal

One of the Australian media's latest love interests, Ruby Rose just isn't good enough for an (almost super) model.
















Known for her penchant for the ladies (and her uber cool alternative style), Ruby Rose was recently spotted getting into a good ol' pashola with front-cover favourite, Catherine McNeil.

And according to McNeil's "people", this move could be devasting for the 20-year-old model's career.

But interestingly, the predicted damage is not because of McNeil's chick-pashing ways: she used to date Danish runway doll Freja Beha Erichson.

The reason they're concerned is that our Ruby, unlike Freja, is not an international superstar and doesn't hold high fashion credentials.

Well boo to that McNeil people! She's 20! Surely if people like Matt Damon can marry a random waitress, then young up and comers can date whoever they choose (within reason obviously. Let's not forget about Britney + K.Fed here people).

I say good luck to them!

Papal scandal and propaganda

In the latest Dan Brown/Ron Howard attempt to:

a) Get kids to study history at school; and

b) Make the Vatican cranky;

Tom Hanks (Robert Langdon) has way better hair and the possibility of a lame love story thankfully goes begging.

Angels and Demons is the prequel to the Golden Globe nominated hit the Da Vinci Code. With more gun-blazin' action and papal scandal than the original, this installment is based on the race against time to save four cardinals from symbolic and gory deaths.

Exciting for Italophiles, the "Ooh I've been there!" factor is through the roof, with Langdon dragging the local cop shop from one end of Italy to the other.

The Vatican did not appreciate this film (nor the original) but, other than a few pokes at the papal propaganda machine and the rigidity of the religious structure, Angels and Demons offers insight into personal faith, the growing relationship between religion and science and a good look inside one of the most incredible basillicas ever made - St. Peters.

Scot Ewan McGregor was an interesting choice as the Pope's offsider (Camerlengo Patrick McKenna) but if you aren't a die-hard fan of the novel, he suits the role written for him in the film.

And hands down to the writers for ensuring Ayelet Zurer's Dr Vittoria Vetra was not dumbed down a single inch. It's always great to see a strong leading lady that doesn't have her boobs out at every turn.

Saturation Point

Like everyone else from Perth to Wellington, I have too an opinion on the Matthew Johns NZ saga.

But as much I could write an enormous post about it all, I'm not going to: I know everyone's sick to death of hearing about it.

That said, here is my position, in hyper-speed:

• If you believe Matty (and I do) the young woman seems to be as much to blame as anyone else in the room that night.
• It happened in 2002 people! This interview on ACA frustrated the hell out of me. Ms Grimshaw was looking to blame Johns for every indecent footballer incident ever, simply because he's put himself forward to admit his mistakes.
• I do not condone group sex, and I certainly don't believe sexual assault should happen to anyone but I do believe this young woman was partially responsible for the situation she now finds herself in. Whether she's just looking for cash or whether she's now very traumatised, it certainly doesn't seem like she felt so bad back in that hotel room in 2002.

Now for something hilarious:


"How you doing little fella? I know it's pretty hot out here, but we're nearly done. Yes I know that brunette in the third row is smokin' hot."

Boo for Kruger, Eek for Bert!

The TV personalities of today just don't measure up to those of yester-year.

While watching How To Look Younger in Ten Days (HTLYITD) last night, I decided that although I've had absolutely nothing to do with Sonia Kruger in the past, I really don't like her. I hate TV hosts that try to force people into a particular state of emotion, and last night, she was all "But how does that make you feeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Then today to hear about Bert Newton's scare, it really bought it home to me that maybe the great unwashed actually do prefer reality programs hosted by talking mannequins.

Speaking of, have you voted for the SYTYCD finale yet? Go Amy, go!